Building a Relationship is like Making a PB&J

For a solid two months when I was in college, I ate PB&J sandwiches.  Not because I couldn’t afford anything else (well a little bit that), but because it was easy to make.  It took three ingredients and one tool.  Creamy Peanut butter (none of that chunky crap), jelly (smuckers was my jam), and homemade wheat bread.  My weapon of choice was a simple butter knife.  These four items were the essential elements I needed to maintain sustenance and energy to keep my day going.

I am a people person.  I thrive on interaction from the folks around me, in the community, as well as at work and with the clients I support.  Without this interaction, I slowly, but surely, die out.  So, taking my que from one of my favorite meals, here are the 4 things you need to help build an effective relationship.

1)    Peanut Butter – When you are building any relationship, it needs to have some stickiness to it.  Going into any relationship with the mentality of just getting what you want will get you nowhere.  It simply gets you stuck.  Ask questions and truly listen to what they say.  When you hear their response don’t think about your next response, think about how that comment sticks with you.  What in your life relates to what he/she just said.  When you make that connection, apply it with a smooth comment back into the conversation:  HENCE Creamy Peanut Butter.

2)    Jelly – Have you ever noticed, how much easier the jelly is to spread on the bread?  The trick I do is to use the knife to mix the jelly up in the jar and then spread away.  Just like the jelly, mix things up a bit.  Instead of being easily distracted by everything outside of the conversation, but your attention on the person and topic at hand.  Instead, of waiting to pounce on them with a response, let them talk and ask questions.  Instead of extracting what you want, give them what they need.

3)    Knife – As with any creation you need a tool to make it happen.  The knife spreads and fastens the deliciousness to its respective side, and there are a lot of things that you have at your disposal to use.

a.     Thank You Cards – Cost little to nothing and goes such a long way

b.     Continued Conversation – Don’t let the relationship die after just one convo

c.     Pre-Meeting Needs – Listen to what this person needs and DELIVER

 4)    Bread – Two pieces smashed next to one another to bring it all together.  The dance between PB & J is completed and then devoured.  When you are building any relationship make sure things are reciprocated.  Efforts, conversations, and most importantly actions.  This can happen in a professional or personal relationship.

These are just a few things and they are not limited to just these items.  What do you think I missed or what do you do to help build relationships in your life?  Comment below. 

I and We Leadership

I have spent the last 12 years of my professional career working with and supporting C-Suite executives, sitting on boards and committees with local Presidents and Executive Directors, and working alongside community influencers within the Dayton community.  Over this timeframe, I have learned one common theme throughout all of these experiences. 

The concept is small, extremely easy to understand, and so simple to implement in your daily routine that it will make you laugh.  It is the concept of “I and We Leadership”.  I am sure there are probably a million leadership books out there currently that discuss this topic, but it is something I have experienced first-hand on both sides of the spectrum. 

Let me break it down for you.

“I Leaders”

An “I Leader” is the easier of the two to spot.  This leader will let you know every single thing he/she has done. 

 “I just ordered this for the team.” 

 “I stayed late to fix the errors that I found while reviewing the report.”

“I would never let that happen if I was running this project.

“I…. “I…. “I…

“I Leaders” cannot stand to have their work go unnoticed.  They want you to know what they have done for you so they can remind you, at all times, you owe them, as if you were in their proverbial pocket for the rest of your academic/professional/personal lifespan.  An “I Leader” needs constant recognition for actions they have done, no matter how small the action is.  They give no recognition towards the team because honestly, in their mind, they have done all the work and NOT the team.  They will let you also know when you need to praise them because they will be fishing for it at all times and will become frustrated when you do not give them praise.

“We Leaders”

A “We L”eader is a lot harder to spot.  The main reason is because they fly under the radar.  They do not seek constant praise for what they have done because, quite frankly they don’t care.  They do their actions without regard for praise or recognition because it is simply the right thing to do or what needs to be done. 

“We worked the entire weekend on the project and we produced an awesome outcome”

 “We found a few errors, but quickly solved all items that were incorrect.”

“We raised enough money to make sure there is funding for the rest of the year.”

“We… “We… “We…

I learned another layer of “I & We Leadership” from my former CEO & President, Steve Miller of C.H. Dean, LLC.  He would say,

“It’s a simple concept.  A true leader uses “I” when there is a mistake or a negative outcome and uses, “We” when there is success and a team win.”   

This is a simple concept that we all can understand and incorporate in our lives.  I started doing this several years ago because I noticed a distinct change in my attitude and the attitude of the people around me with an “I and We Leader”.  It also drives me crazy today listening to leaders today, rapid fire “I statements” thinking they are making a difference and leading with intent.  In essence, they are only driving the wedge further among the folks they are trying to lead.

What type of leader do you think you are?  Have you experienced an “I and We Leader”?  What were the things that you noticed?  Comment below.

How One Letter Changed My 2018

2018 was AMAZING!!!  I had so many fun experiences, I YOLOed pretty much every day, I was happy without a day of sadness, and I never stubbed my toe on the corner of the coffee table.  Let’s take a pause here and realize that no one has said this in the past 72 hours.  I don’t know about you all, but 2018 was just rough. 

I had been with C.H. Dean, LLC for 11 years of my life, 100% of my adult working career.  That company made me the professional I am today, but I simply stalled out.  I felt like I plateaued and was looking for the next challenge in my life.  What greater challenge than in a new field with a new company.  With that in mind I started the process of interviewing at Synchrony and my official start date had been slated for the last week of February.  I went from Corporate Relations Manager to Client Services Manager (CRMàCSM) in a blink of an eye.

Remember your first day of school.  Hair slicked with gel, the kind that makes it feel all crispy, packed lunch, and a bookbag filled with school supplies.  Don’t forget the box of tissues.  My first day survival kit consisted of the following items:

·      No gel in my hair, because I am balding

·      No packed lunch with the assumption of making new friends

·      And a travel Ogio bookbag filled with different desk toys from my old job

I felt like a kid on Christmas.  I was going to make a lot of new friends and learn a completely new craft and business.  I walk in through the front door and have my picture snapped with my cheesin’ the perfect smile.  I was then greeted by my new teammate and away we went.

Over the course of the next five months a lot of changes started to happen.  With this new role, I decided that I needed to truly focus and stepped down from the different boards and community activities I was a part of.  This left a pretty big emptiness in my life.  One of the things that I took so much pride in was being active in the Dayton community, but I needed to learn my new craft and the best way to do this was to be completely focused.

This started the spiral of 2018.  I began to become very depressed.  I was not understanding my new job because I am the type of person who is impatient and wants to learn everything right on the spot.  Frustration set in I went from the go to guy who would solve problems at my old job, to tracking down people to answer questions, to problems I did not understand.  I was lacking a teacher of the trade and relied anyone who would listen.

This is where I learned about one of Synchrony’s greatest value adds.  It doesn’t matter if you are entry level or an executive, their learning environment is conducive to people thirsty for knowledge and asking questions.  So that’s what I did.  I asked questions about everything I could and started to build my professional brand and network.

The first five months were a blur.  I learned as much as I could with the team I started with but realized that environment wasn’t helping me grow.  Then in late July I switched teams and that is where the training wheels came off, professionally and personally.

My first week on the new team I was greeted with handshakes and high fives.  I was taken out to lunch three times that week and had a wealth of knowledge surrounding me.  I felt like I was revived and back to my old self.  This is how I thrive. Off of positive and powerful energy.  The two folks who I directly supported began to engage with me and let me help the best way I knew, and that was with building relationships. 

Now there is a lot of the story I have left out and everything may not make too much sense so I will try my best to bring it all back home.

I stopped being who I was, I didn’t do the things I enjoyed anymore in fear that it would make me fall behind on new opportunities.  I changed myself when I didn’t need to. 

With that said, 2019 will be different.  This blog is my coming back to Dayton blog.  It it starts with the list of resolutions below:

1.     Make a Resolution (welp I can check that one off)

2.     Get back involved with Dayton and the community

3.     Share experiences with those close in my life

4.     Begin posting back on my social networks like before

5.     Blog like I did before, with passion

These are five simple resolutions that I know I can keep.  I can’t wait to see everyone again.

4 hot spots for hot chocolate in Dayton

It’s freezing outside. Literally freezing. I woke up on Tuesday morning and it was -10 degrees outside. That is the equivalent of me walking outside for a second, having my nose freeze, and then deciding to watch 12 episodes of Breaking Bad in one sitting (this happened on New Year’s Day). I love me some winter, but holy frozen goose turds, it is COLD outside.

As a person that runs pretty hot at all times, you would think I would be perfectly fine and suited for this type of weather. Spoiler alert: I am not. That is why I need to get warmed up, and what better way to do that than with a piping cup of hot chocolate?

I am sort of a hot chocolate connoisseur. Rich, dramatic, dark-toned notes tickle your tongue and dance the dance of deliciousness for a party of one. Oh, and don’t forget burning the hell out of your mouth from time to time with the power of the sun itself. Fun Fact: I actually have never had a cup of coffee in my life. So, when people ask me to go out and grab a coffee, I always have to do a quick double-check to make sure that they have the cocoa in stock for Coco (the name I always tells Starbucks to write on my cup).

Below are my top Dayton spots to grab a cup of hot cocoa on these bitter cold days!

Winans Fine Chocolates & Coffees – HANDS DOWN the best bang for your buck in the hot chocolate scene here in Dayton. What you pay for a large hot cocoa, and the amount of ounces you receive in return, is a ridiculous ratio that no other shop can compete with. Not to mention they have locations all over the Dayton region (the Beavercreek location has a drive-through, which helps me stay warm).

 Boston Stoker – Boston Stoker is my “go-to jam” for a ride on the hot cocoa express. Service is always polite, fast and on point. There have been several times I have arrived with a line out the door and only two folks working, and I’ve always had my cocoa in hand within 5-8 minutes, which I feel is a pretty impressive task.  Not to mention it is centrally located right in the heart of downtown Dayton. Seating is also a plus there. Plenty of table and window space for you to pull up to and have a great conversation with someone.

Ghostlight Coffee – Want to feel like you are in an episode of Friends? Then stop by Ghostlight and head to the back room. That is the first thing I thought about when I snagged this cup of cocoa. They serve it in a nice big cup for all that cocoa goodness to hit at once. The environment is perfect as well. I have had a few meetings there and it is always comfortable, complimented by their great customer service. I also like how on SUPER COLD days, the windows fog up and you can’t really see inside or outside, which makes me a bit more productive not being distracted by any cars or people walking by. Most of the time I am like a dog when someone yells out SQUIRREL!

   Press – Located right on Wayne Ave., Press Coffee if a hop, skip, and a jump away from the Oregon District drag on 5th street. I have to be honest, Press is not my top choice for a cup of cocoa. Don’t get me wrong, the few I have had there have been very tasty, but the customer service and atmosphere has always left a sour taste in my mouth. I am chalking it up to maybe just a bad day or four. I am going to give it another try this week and see how it goes.

TO BE TESTED:

La Gota Coffee – I have yet to try this place, but have been hearing more and more good things about it from a few of my friends who have. I have gotten confirmation that they do sell hot chocolate there as well: Regular and Spicy Mexican Hot Chocolate.

   Gem City Catfe – I am super excited to try this one! They open this week and I have been assured they will have the hot cocoa and many cats that I can pet.

How does this list match up to yours? Did I miss the mark on any of them? Where is your favorite cup of cocoa located at?

How I re-routined my day

Let’s face it, we are creatures of habit, some of us stuck in the same cage day in and day out. Let me ask you a question. From the minute your alarm goes off, what is your morning routine? It may be something along the lines of: wake up, shower, brush your teeth, eat breakfast, drive to work. Now within those few items, how often do you do the same thing? Every. Single. Day.

For example, do you brush your teeth in the same order every time? I do (bottom left, bottom middle, bottom right, top right, top middle, and top left). Do you put socks on before pants? How about that commute to work? Do you take the same exit, same road, at the same time everyday? It is kind of freaky how often we do the same thing over and over again.

Repetitiveness can lead to us to many things. Some find themselves in a rut and feel as though they are trapped and moving nowhere with their lives. Others may feel a loss of purpose and get lost in daily bean counting.

I admit, I do things over and over again, but I recognize when this starts to get dull and boring. That is when I make a change. You have to institute some change into your routine to help nurture your continued growth.  Here are some simple things you can do to re-routine your day.

Mix it up

Are you the type of person who hits the snooze alarm three times in the morning? I challenge you to try not hitting it once. Maybe wake up earlier and go for a walk to get the blood pumping and clear your mind. Do you eat a drive-thru breakfast on the way to work? How about cooking up a couple of eggs and maybe some fresh fruit? Take the same highway to work every day? Maybe get off a couple exits before your normal exit and find your way via the backroads. Break your daily mold!

Schedule the time

For me, what helped the most to complete tasks and goals faster was to schedule the time out on my calendar. Here is an example of my daily routine once I get to work.

• 7:30am – 8:30am, Morning Prep
  • Get everything organized and ready for my day, as well as eat a quick bite
• 8:30am – 9:15am, Social Media Schedule Out
  • Work on filling my Buffer accounts with items from content generated websites such as Feedly
• 9:15am – 9:30am, Break & Walk Around
  • Take time to visit other folks in the office and say hi
• 9:30am – 10:30am, Blog Prep & Maintenance
  • This is the time that I spend generating blog ideas, writing, and updating websites
• 10:30am – 10:45am, Snack Attack
  • Eat a little snack to keep me going
• 10:45am – 12:00pm, Department Work
  • Work on items within my department and work scope

Flexibility

The above schedule is just an example of my morning phase. I always have to keep in mind one word: flexibility. You will not be able to do the same thing every day, at the same time, uninterrupted. Be able to be flexible when it comes to your routine. Your routine, is simply the framework to help you stay on task and motivated.

Trial & Error

Just because you change something does not mean it will be perfect on the first try. What works on Mondays and Fridays may have a completely different feel on Tuesday and Thursdays. Don’t even get me started on the impact it would have on your Wednesdays. Once you create that routine you are not married to it. Tweak and change as you go to keep it working best for you.

What are your routines?  Do you do something special in your mornings or afternoons?

Socially Savvy: 9 badass Dayton women you NEED to know

Badass. A quick Google search defined this everyday nomenclature as “a formidably impressive person.” I think I use this word on a daily basis, if not hourly, so needless to say I know its true passion and feeling.

I have recently been seeing so many amazing things done by some pretty badass Dayton women and I thought there should be some sort of list to house all of these badass women. (See? It has only been about thirty seconds, and already I’ve made you say badass four times in your head.)

With that said, I would like to present to you Socially Savvy’s inaugural “9 badass Dayton women you NEED to know” for 2017.

Qualifications:

• Female
• Doing badass things in our community

Brittany Smith – Heart Mercantile / Luna Gifts & Botanicals     

This badass is a triple threat in the Dayton community. Brittany is an owner of Heart Mercantile / Luna Gifts & Botanicals, as well as a photographer for Carly Short Photography. This must be why her Instagram and photos of her shop are always on point. Currently based in the Oregon Historic District, Brittany balances work life and mom life as if she was flippin’ flap jacks (it’s extremely difficult, but the person doing it makes it look easy).  If you are ever in need of a good laugh or a simple pick me up for the day, stroll by Heart and check out their chalkboard sign.  It is sure to put a smile on your face.

Mary Kathryn Burnside – Clash Dayton    

Known as the Queen of Clash, Mary Kathryn Burnside, aka MK Burnside aka Gypsy Queen, is our next badass. As owner of Clash located in the Oregon District on 5th Street, Mary’s true passion is art and helping artists getting their work out to the masses. Mary has acted as that conduit to many artists to give them a platform to speak from visually. Oh, and Mary’s image was also used for the artwork of Warped Wing’s Gypsy Queen!

 

Ashley Bethard – Cox Media Group Ohio    

This badass is quickly becoming a household name in the Dayton area. Ashley is a writer, digital media expert, and editor extraordinaire! In 2014, Ashley’s creative writing was nominated for a Pushcart Prize by the Rappahannock Review. In 2016, she was named one of the Newspaper Association of America’s “Top 30 Under 30”!  Rounding out 2017, Ashley won the Ohioana Library Walter Rumsey Marvin Grant, a major writing prize, which she will accept at the Ohio Statehouse this October. Her dojo is Dayton.com, where she and her team work extremely hard on a daily basis to advocate the city we all love. Ashley is also a founding member of Bloom : a creative collective.

Lauren Poteat – Fit Body by Lauren  

Is there a badass out there that can whip your butt into shape? Why yes, yes there is. Lauren Poteat’s core focus is to focus on your core! She believes in an active lifestyle that blends healthy dieting with a targeted personal training regimen. Lauren is a trainer/group fitness instructor certified by the National Academy of Sports Medicine, a TRX Suspension Trainer and trains many Daytonians out of her personal workout facility.

Candice Hunt – Square One Salon and Spa

Looking for a badass fresh fade, bridal coordinator or maybe a donation for your charity event? Well, this badass can help with that. Candice is the Assistant Manager at Square One Salon and Day Spa. She is the definition of a Renaissance Woman. No job is to small for her to lend a hand and help out. Whether it is making your big day the most memorable or booking a ton of appointments, Candice greets you with a smile, high five, hug, or a cup of tea to help make your day become complete.

Sabrina Cox – Mike’s Bike Park    

This badass is a puuuuuuuurfect for this list. Sabrina was one of the main starters of the Gem City Catfe. Wanting to get a bit more hands-on, she switched career paths and now is the General Manger for Pet Wants Dayton, where she does community development, marketing, and manages their charity donations and special events. Speaking of special events, did I mention she is the Special Events Coordinator for Mike’s Bike Park? So when you adopt a puppy and ride a bike, be sure to think about Sabrina.

Cindy DeVelvis – DP&L    

This badass knows how to keep the lights on. Cindy is the Digital Communication Strategist for AES, which includes DP&L as well as Indianapolis Power & Light, where she focuses on improving the customer experience through digital communication. From day-to-day she manages website modernization, email and social media strategies. Cindy is amazing at her job. My first experience communicating with her was via the DP&L Twitter account.  The two of us got into a very ENLIGHTENING “Pun-Off.” Needless to say, that interaction BRIGHTENED my day!

Soteria Brown – The Dayton Foundation    

I have had the pleasure of meeting this badass and have seen firsthand what she has done for our community. Soteria is the Public Relations Officer at the Dayton Foundation, where she coordinates media coverage for the foundation, maintains their online presence while monitoring trends, and creates amazing video content for them as well. Soteria is also the liaison for the foundation’s African-American Community Fund. Outside of work, she sits on the board for PRSA Dayton and is a huge advocate for HBCUs.  She is also a most recent 40 Under Forty winner – Class of 2017!

Karen Maner – Culture Works    

A badass lover of all things Dayton and arts by day, and a Jeff Goldblum MEGAFAN by night, Karen is someone you need to place on your “Daytonians I have to meet in person” bucket list. As the Communications and Project Manager for Culture Works Dayton, Karen is heavily immersed in all things arts on a daily basis. Then, when you add into the mix her involvement with UpDayton as their project volunteer and a heavy-hitting member of the TEDxDayton Marketing Committee, you have an All-Star that some wouldn’t trade Kyrie Irving together for. Too Soon?

WINNERS – Awards are being made up in the next couple of weeks and will be delivering them to you shortly!

Honorable Mention

Wynie Mae Milne – Teacup Yorkie Enterprises 

Wynie loves bee-boppin around the Oregon District, chewing on her stuffed lambchop and is an avid leaf collector. Originally from Chillicothe and recently relocated to downtown Dayton in the Oregon District, Wynie loves giving a million kisses and actin’ a fool.

3 easy ways to turn a bad day around in Dayton

Have you ever read the book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? If not, the main premise is about a kid named Alexander who is having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Shocking, I know.

So let’s ask the obvious question: have you ever had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day? A day that from the moment you put your feet on the floor, you had nothing but a series of unfortunate events (that’s a good title for a book) happen to you?  I have on MANY occasions. The crappy part is that it is extremely hard to break out of that funk during the day.

Below are 3 super easy tips on how to turn that bad day frown upside down — right here in Dayton.

1.) Calm your soul and your mind

This is the simplest (yet hardest) thing that you can do. Many times when your mind is racing, you are so fixated on all the things you need to do or your past mistakes that you make even more and begin falling down the slope. It’s called quicksand. The more you struggle, the harder it is to get out. Take a moment to calm your soul and mind. Here are a few suggestions on how to do that.

Speakeasy Yoga – Tear down your mind and build it back up with the flow of Speakeasy.

Dayton Art Institute – Focus on one specific gallery and immerse yourself within the story of all of its masterpieces.

Riverscape – Escape to Riverscape early in the morning for a quiet reflective walk downstream.

2.) Nourish your ears with some sound

I am a strong believer in music. Music can easily set the tone how I might respond to certain events. Sometimes all I need is a straight shot to my ears of a nice beat that can pump me up when I am down. Check out some of these venues for just that.

The Fraze – A perfect-sized venue for you and your friends to dance and sing the night away.

Rose Music Center – Sound that can blossom your evening into a perfect night.

Yellow Cab Tavern – When in need of that local flavor, nothing beats the authentic taste of that Yellow Cab Sound.

3.) Fight hanger with a local support group

We are in an age where hanger is real and affecting millions of people daily. Hanger awareness support groups are popping up all across the US nation to help our loved ones abolish hanger pains and being hangry for good! Here is a list of some great “Local Hanger Support Groups” right here in the Dayton Region.

FUSIAN – Roll up and roll out that hanger with this quick and easy support group.

CK Take Away – Their meetings are M-F 11 a.m.-3 p.m.

Jimmie’s Ladder 11 – When 5-alarm hanger pains set in, Jimmie’s food will help cool you down.

These are only a FEW of the many things to do to help turn that bad day around. What do you do to help alter your ownterrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?

Stop Sending LinkedIn Invitations To People You Do Not Know

I am not a master of LinkedIn nor am I a master of social media. But I have learned a lot through trial and error. Also, I have figured out the hard way what works best and what can anger others. My number one pet peeve is when someone will send me a LinkedIn invitation and I have never met that person. 

I can already hear the trolls about to scream in all caps in the comments, but hear me out first. I have no problem with connecting with people, either in real life or via the interwebs. Hell, that’s how a lot of my good friendships started. One random night at a city meeting, I tweeted at someone a few years back. They are now one of my best friends and I am one of his groomsmen in his upcoming wedding. So, I am not against that.

What I am against is when people send me a LinkedIn request when I have never met them and they send no note or message attached with it. I am always suspicious when this happens. When I receive a request like this I go through my following hitlist:

Review the person’s profile

This is critical. You need to first make sure this person is not a fake account or someone trying to build a small LinkedIn army of connections. Do they have a presentable profile picture? What is their current work history and where do they work? Are they involved in any of the same activities and groups I am involved with? Are they from the same area I am from? These are important questions that you should ask before accepting a request.

Check to see what mutual connections we have

This is usually a deal breaker for me. If I can see that this person is connected to a large number of my connections, then this is good, and usually I can reach out to any one of those connections to ask further questions. If there are little to no mutual connections I get a bit worried.

Find out what they are posting, if anything

Usually the type of material that a person posts to LinkedIn allows me to make the decision on whether or not I want them as a connection. I am not wanting my feed on LinkedIn to be filled with motivational quotes or pictures of baby goats. I use LinkedIn as a professional networking social media platform. I try to post items that relate to professional matters or leadership. As for baby goats? That’s why I have Instagram and Facebook.

Did they send a welcome message?

This is the easiest thing a person can do when connecting with someone they do not know. Send a welcome message stating why you are wanting to connect with me. I am 87% more inclined to accept a request if it has the message, “Hello. We have not met before, but I am looking to connect with more young professionals or financial industry folks or UD grads or Dayton natives or people involved with Dayton Clubs or INSERT WHATEVER ELSE!” Guess what? This is a conversation starter. If you are truly looking to connect with me then I will happily respond and say, “Thanks for reaching out! I am involved with XYZ. Are you free for coffee one day? Let’s connect in person and talk more.”

I learned a long time ago not to just LinkedIn with anyone. The lesson was embarrassing and I will never forget. A client of mine reached out to me via LinkedIn and said that I was connected with someone she was trying to reach out to and get to know better to help with her business. She said the name and I had no idea who it was. I had never met that person nor talked with them. I had to go back to the client and say, “I am sorry, but I am not sure who this person is or how I am connected to them.” For me it was very embarrassing. That is when I started screening out my connections a bit further.

I think it is safe to say that I know about 90% of all the folks I am connected with on LinkedIn. When I reach out to connect with someone it is usually to follow up from a recent networking event or because their cell number or email is in my contacts and that pulls up on LinkedIn.

So please, for the love of baby goats, will you stop sending invitations to people you don’t know or if you do add a message to it!

Dayton’s true meaning, revealed

SUCCESS! It has finally happened. Today is the freaking day! After years and years of research, I have finally identified the true meaning behind the word Dayton, and let me tell you it was not easy.

Hours of countless reading and drinking… well not so much reading, but you get the point. Below I will reveal to you the six words that define what truly Dayton means. Oddly enough they each start with a letter that spells out Dayton. Pretty convenient huh?

D is for Drinks

Let’s be clear. If you did not know this before you read it, you are not a true Daytonian. Dayton loves its craft beer scene. Brewery after brewery continues to pop up. They have become a staple of this community. Local bars and restaurants proudly carry and serve as many local beers as possible. It is a badge of honor, as well as the ultimate sign of respect. Sometimes you have to make last call more important than that conference call.

A is for Active

Dayton stays active. Dayton is out and about and loving every minute of it. From the Bike share program to River Run there is always something to keep you busy. Don’t like those options? No problem. How about you head to church and start climbing the walls inside. Urban Krag can help with that. Need to beat out some aggression? Try a boxing class at Title Boxing. Still not striking a chord yet? What about doing some Hot Yoga at Speakeasy Yoga? Your options are endless.

Y is for Yummy

Yum-Yums for your Tum-Tums. Dayton’s food scene is vast and “full” filling. From high class dining to hole in the wall dives, those hunger pains will last no more within your soul. If nothing catching your eye, wait a week and I am sure you Food Truck rally will pop up right next to your office. Can’t wait? Then try a grilled cheese or two or three at King’s Table.

T is for Torque

Dayton is a city built on the foundation of manufacturers. These machine shops, tool and dyes, and numerous other crafts laid the groundwork that Dayton stands upon today. We were and are a town that worked hard for the daily dollar and stood by our work. Give us the opportunity to turn a wrench, and we will supply with you a masterpiece.

O is for Overcome

“Dayton is dying,” “Dayton sucks,” “Why do you live in Dayton?”, “Nothing happens in Dayton,” “Dayton is great if you have never been anywhere else.” These are just a few of the ignorant sayings that Daytonians hear, and say, on a daily basis and my response is simple. We stick up for our city and overcome what is said. It is not the first time someone has made fun of us, nor will it be the last. We are a duck in the water, we let the water simply roll off our backs and keep swimming.

N is for Nook

The City of Dayton is nestled away perfectly within a nice little nook. Being a stone’s throw away from our state capital as well as Cincinnati, we snugly fit in a perfect little nook. It is a breeze to get from once side of the city to another, there really is no such thing as traffic, and it is the perfect size for those looking to make a greater impact.

What does Dayton truly mean for you?

 Comment on what you think Dayton stands for!

7 unwritten rules of board meetings

The Dayton community is rich with numerous organizations, boards, and committees that you can get involved with. I know the idea of joining a board may be a bit intimidating at first, but like any other activity, practice makes perfect.

Below are 7 unwritten rules of board meetings that will help you fit right in with your new board pals.

1.) Be respectful of everyone else’s time

Time is one of the most precious things people have. You can never get back lost time, so make sure your time is well spent. Board positions are usually occupied by upper level management and C-level officers from all different companies. Being respectful of their time means sticking to the agenda, not going off on tangents, or talking about items that have nothing to do with the organization.

2.) Fighting is not a form of communication

I have been a part of a few boards where people would flat out yell, scream, and fight with each other in front of everyone. This is not an appropriate form of communication. I guarantee that there will be conversations in which you disagree with others, know that you are all there for the same cause and his/her way may not be your way. Keep an open mind and a calm form of communication.

3.) Keep it under wraps

Board meetings usually discuss the direction and path that the organization is going to move down. Sometimes there will be newsworthy moves internally and externally, either with people or a collaboration between another organization. Keep it confidential! Let the marketing or PR person for your organization reach out to news folks to announce the news. Who knows, what you are telling people may change and then you would look silly.

4.) Step up and volunteer  

Organizations, boards, and committees seek to fill open positions from individuals who are well-connected in the community. Know that when you hop onto one of these, you may be asked to use your connections to get the word out about the organization or to help make more people aware of its cause. There are also usually subcommittees to get involved with inside the board. I highly encourage you to get on one of them. If your strength is social media, hop on the marketing committee. If you like to fundraise, join the finance committee. Don’t sit idle while others work.

5.) Be financially committed

A lot of boards will ask for you to make a financial donation. This is something to check before joining. If you are asked to make a $25,000 donation and you barely have $25 to spare, chances are that may not be a good fit for you. If there is no monetary donation, I HIGHLY encourage you to make one of whatever amount you can. It is always a great feeling to say, “Our board is 100% financially committed to our cause.” A dollar is still a donation.

6 – Friends at the end

As mentioned before there may be some heated conversations.  The one thing that you need to remember is that even though you may disagree in the board room, you are still friends outside those walls.  Set petty differences aside and don’t let it affect your relationships.

7 – Treat Yo’ Self… and others

This really isn’t a hard and fast rule, but I am hoping that some of my fellow board members read this article and do this.  It never hurts to bring in donuts or some sort of treat for all to enjoy.  I just like snacks!

An open letter to the city of Dayton

Hey Dayton,

It’s me, Cory. What’s up? It has been a minute since we last talked. I hope everything is going well. It is kind of funny, I keep seeing things pop up about you in the news every day. By the way, congrats on the recent funding for the Arcade. I know that has been something you have been working on for a long time and it is finally happening! Baby steps is all it takes.

I saw on your Facebook the other day that you keep getting more and more friends and personal shoutouts. I remember back in the day when you couldn’t pay someone to be your friend. It seemed like everyone wanted to be best friends with Columbus and Cincinnati. Hell, even Cleveland had more friends than you. But you hung in there. The cool thing now that I keep seeing is everyone wanting to move closer to you and downtown. It seems like work, play, and fun are all synonymous with your name nowadays. We went from a place where you couldn’t pay a person to live near you, to them screaming “TAKE MY MONEY!!!”

Also, whoever thought of bringing Uber to Dayton needs to be awarded the medallion of smarts. You are the perfect city for it, and coupled with all the up-and-coming breweries… GENIUS! Some of the best times I have had so far are grabbing a bite to eat and bar hopping around. Speaking of which, drink much? My goodness. You have so many breweries that you had to start your own pedal bike service to get to each place, where you drink while on the bike!

I will be honest with you, though. I did hear from a lot of people, several years back, that you were dying and I got scared. It was the same thing over and over, “Dayton is dying.” And “Dayton is DEAD!” I knew in my heart that you were going to be okay, but it’s hard to hear that. I heard it daily from people who have been lifelong Daytonians. It felt like they didn’t care anymore, gave up and wanted to simply walk away. I was so relieved to know that there were more people who said the opposite and fought for you. It has been cool to see your brothers Kettering, Centerville, Beavercreek, Huber Heights and your sister Oakwood chip in to help as well. It’s like you all had the mentality of “if one falls we all fall.”

Listen. I wanted to talk to you about something serious. I am worried about this recent drug problem I have been hearing about. What can I do to help? I hated hearing about that and couldn’t stand to listen, but I know it’s a problem that simply won’t go away unless we do something together. Keep me posted please.

You know, I still remember when you and I were out on the playground. Running around having fun. You were the only one who played with me and was my friend. You didn’t care that I was fat or not good at sports. Didn’t care that I was not the smartest either. You made me feel at home and so welcomed. So I guess I just want to say thank you, Dayton. Thanks for all you have done to help me on my journey through life and become the man I am today. I am trying to pass on everything you have done for me to others.

Alright I have to get going, I have a 6:30 game at Setters and then Karaoke at Blind Bob’s tonight.  Keep in touch, alright, and keep doing what you are doing. You are getting noticed and people are loving it.

With Kindest Regards,

Cory D. D. Miller

10 of my favorite chalkboard signs from Heart Mercantile

Marketing and advertising are fundamental cornerstones of any business. Why does a person buy Pepsi compared to Coke? McDonald’s or Burger King? Skyline Chili or Gold Star Chili? It is all in how you market yourself.

The Oregon District is filled with many local small business owners. They do not have hundreds of thousands of dollars to spend on advertising campaigns, logo redesigns, and consumer surveys. Instead, the owners find creative ways to lure the folks into their shops. Because once you can take a second to indulge in the experience, you will return again and again.

One of my favorite stores that does a fantastic job of marketing itself to potential customers is Heart Mercantile. Owners Brittany Smith & Carly Barrett run the shop throughout the week.  The team at Heart believes in the spirit of their community, and giving back wherever they can.  But I am not here to give you a run down about the store.

A piece of chalk and a standalone chalkboard is all the Heart Team needs to grab your attention. Below are 10 chalkboard signs to take to heart…from Heart. All these photos were found on @heart_mercantile’s Instagram, which you should check out.

My night with Bloom Creative Collective at “Never Sent”

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.  First, let me ask you one question: Did you sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star when you read all the letters just now? Don’t worry, I did too. And not just once, but every time I have proofed this blog. *Insert frustrated eye-roll emoji*

OK back to the point. A B C D E F G… you get the idea. These 26 letters are the building blocks of our language. The DNA, or ultimate code for our communication. With these letters, we shape and create narratives that boggle the human mind, mess with emotions, ensnare your senses, and most importantly transport you to alternate realities. People have made lifetime careers off these 26 letters.

Take for example Kevin Durant. Newly added to the Golden State Warriors in 2016. For a career of putting a ball in a basket, his net worth is up to about $60.6 million and that’s not counting the 10-year endorsement contract with Nike that is worth as much as $300 million. Now let’s compare him to J.K. Rowling, whose estimated net worth from the Harry Potter Franchise is just shy of $1 billion — which is a fraction of the $15 billion brand she created.

The picture I am trying to paint is that words are powerful. We combine and rearrange these 26 little letters to create infinite combinations of words, phrases, and sentences that invoke our greatest emotions. This is exactly what Bloom Creative Collective did with their event “Never Sent: an evening of words, art, nostalgia.”

Bloom is a female-based creative collective started by four friends (Briana Anello, Ashley Bethard, Morgan Bush, and Jenna Black). Their goal is to create a safe space for artists to come together, explore their creativity, and embrace the messiness of this process through workshops, experiences and collaborative projects. They believe that being creative is about learning to be vulnerable. Their space is one of support, not competition.

Never Sent is the first event Bloom has put on, with many more to come. Held within the offices of Catapult Creative in downtown Dayton, Never Sent’s ambiance was that of home. From the moment you walked in, you were welcomed with a calming spirit and an energy that couldn’t be explained. Hand-made refreshments coupled with a spread of light hors d’oeuvres cleansed your physical palate as well as prepared your mental palate.

With a backdrop of roses falling into a sea of twinkle lights, Bloom set the stage perfectly for its speakers. The best way I can describe the feeling of the background for the speakers; it was as if a warm blanket was wrapped within a hug to protect each speaker.  Almost like armor or some sort of supportive coat of protection.

The Speakers

Jessica Warner – “My friend Tina once said to me, ‘You were basically a Marxist feminist Tasmanian devil with fashion sense,’ and I can’t think of any better way to describe myself.”

Karen Maner – A native Daytonian, Karen Maner earned her MFA in Creative Nonfiction at Eastern Washington University, where she served as the Assistant Coordinator of the Get Lit literary festival. Since returning to Dayton, she’s dedicated herself to organizations that unite the community through storytelling and the arts, serving as a board member for UpDayton and Friends of the Dayton Metro Library and working as the Communications and Project Manager for Culture Works. Her writing has appeared in Best American Nonrequired Reading and Colorado Review and made the Notable Essays list in Best American Essays 2014.

Stephanie Coates – Mom of three little humans. Clumsy tree climber. Traveler. Purveyor of words and baked goods. Love Poets are the worst. I’m alright though.

Ashley Bethard – “A note on my poetic sensibilities: if it’s got rust, dust, or a deep and troubled history, I will fall in love. This explains every good and terrible decision I’ve ever made.”

Natalie Sanders – Actress at Dare to Defy productions, writer, artist.

Bridget Flaherty – Corporate Powerhouse turned Gypsy: In 2016, Bridget walked away from a corporate leadership position, sold her house and everything in it and took to the road. She hiked the Grand Canyon, drove the Pacific Coast Highway, went to the top of the Space Needle in Seattle, jumped off a cliff into Crater Lake in Oregon and witnessed Old Faithful blow in Yellowstone. She now writes and shares stories and leads workshops for both business and personal development.

Much like my cholesterol, this event was filled with emotional highs and lows. With readings about “Conversations I Have With You When I Am High,” extremely descriptive narratives of Jeff Goldblum’s intimacy scenes in the movie “The Fly,” playing truth or dare of the heart, an admission of how one cannot authentically process grief, and a heartfelt poem-letter to one’s daughter. “Never Sent” promised an evening of memories, but delivered a night of emotions from the past.

This event wasn’t out to make money, or gain a foothold in the artistic community. You won’t see the evening news do a five-minute piece on what lives the event saved. Never Sent’s mission was to strengthen those who needed the emotional endurance training that they have been unable to find. To help build upon a foundation, some that were fractured, and to create something so unbelievable, that hearing it only did it fractional justice.

Mission Accomplished.

You can follow Bloom: a creative collective on Facebook and Instagram.

12 Instagram accounts that get me excited about Dayton

A hobby of mine that helps me relax is taking photos.  Now I am not a master photographer by any means, but I like to think I have a good eye for capturing some beauty.  I do not have a big editing studio, rather I spent a few bucks on a couple photo editing apps on my iPhone.

With that said, I thought it would be fun to make a quick list of 12 accounts, in no particular order, that I enjoy viewing on a daily basis.  These accounts are a mixture of restaurants, people, organizations, music, and all sorts of other things.  So do yourself a favor and give these account a follow when you can.

This delicious $1 food deal might be one of Dayton’s best-kept secrets

Dayton does not shy away when it comes to its craft beers and food.  You can walk in one direction and be greeted with Italian food and IPA beers, and in another direction you are met with a grilled PB&J and the world-famous Muses from Lily’s Bistro.

I am an explorer of the delicious and the discounted, and there is no better place that I know of that does both of these as well as Kings Table, 2348 Grange Hall Rd., Beavercreek.

For over the past 10 years, Kings Table has been pumping out a deal that is not well-known by many, but is quickly becoming a Dayton staple.  Wednesdays are for grilled cheeses — $1 grilled cheeses, that is. Coupled with $1 tomato soup and $1 tater tots, your tummy is filled easily.

King’s Table General Manager Kat was the mastermind behind this genius deal that has been making thousands of mouths water starting every Tuesday night.  By providing something that is different and still delicious, allows many to experience the true atmosphere of Kings Table in its daytime glory. 

My go-to order is two grilled cheeses, one with bacon and one without, an order of their Dayton-famous tater tots, and recently I started getting a cup of tomato soup topped off with a glass of delicious ice water. The best part about this deal is that EVERYTHING is just $1 (with the exception of bacon, that’s an up-charge).

After leaving you may get that “Dammit, I can’t wait an entire week for another deal like that!” feeling. Well, there is good news to be heard.  Thursday (the day directly after Grilled Cheese Day) features $1 brats and $1 tots. Dayton, you are a getting a double dollar whammy two days in a row. No deal can beat that.Also, if you want to keep the party rolling into the weekend, come back Friday night to sample one of the 56 beers King’s Table has on tap.

Want to go?

WHAT: King’s Table

WHERE: 2348 Grange Hall Rd., Beavercreek

INFO: http://www.kingstable.co/

This is my favorite drink in Dayton

Dayton does a lot of things well. We sell out baseball games like it’s a hobby. We collect gems (not really). We take our bike paths very seriously.  But one thing that we do extremely well is make drinks. Not just our delicious craft beer, but also mixed drinks.

Join me as I take you on my journey of the first time I tasted my Favorite Dayton Drink.

It was warm outside, nearing the end of May. Crisp rays of sunshine glided down from the sky to reach my sunkissed skin as I strolled through the Oregon District. To my right I passed Toxic, Hole in the Wall, and Ned’s while on my left Trolley, Lucky’s and Tumbleweed met my gaze and soon ended with a view of the back of my head. I had a thirst that could only be quenched by the perfect drink, and that drink was yet to be determined.

I continued down my journey of Fifth Street and arrived at a place called Lily’s Bistro.  Wire framed tables and chrome covered chairs were scattered throughout their side and front patios. Its front windows and two doors leading into the bar area and dining room made for a picture of distinguished grace.

I pushed open the front door to lead me on to the next phase of my adventure, but my heart skipped a beat. The door did not budge. I tried with both hands, and again was met with no movement. I frantically ran to the other door, only to experience the same result. My heart began to fold and crush into itself. My soul felt the connection from the sidewalk, and now it was lost, much like a puppy in a big, new, scary city. Alas, I looked at my watch and realized I was 30 minutes away from opening. My wait begins.

I stroll.

I walk.

I run.

I wait.

What sitcoms do within this time frame I turn into an eternity due to my unquenchable thirst. The hands on my watch move with sloth-like characteristics, but finally arrive at their destination along with me at mine. The doors unlock and I burst through as if a child born into the world screaming for the love and affection it so desperately needs.

I locate myself to the bar and a chair nestled within the corner. String art spelling out “cocktails” ensures that I am in the right place. I am greeted by Amber, who asks how I am doing. She is met with a quick reply of “thirsty.”  I asked if they had any specials, and with a smile reaching ear to ear, she began to tell me the tale of The Muses.

“The Muses cocktail is made from two ounces 100-proof Junior Johnson strawberry moonshine…” I stop her, and with hushed voice exclaim, “you had me at moonshine.” She begins her craft and delivers a show that will never be forgotten. Forging care and craftswomanship into each pour and dash, prevailed through its glowing appeal.

The drink was then placed in front of me with two words: “prepare yourself.” Looking back, I wish I would have heeded her warning. Moving the straw to the right side of the glass, coupled under my right index finger I moved the glass towards my lips. The aroma of sliced cucumber engulfed my sense of smell while the cucumber puree danced with my sense of taste.

The first splash cascaded down the back of my throat and my stomach was filled with ecstasy. One soft tear dribbled down my right check as I reached a state of nirvana that even the 14th Dalai Lama has yet to reach. My thirst had been quenched, and was quenched by a second and third Muses to follow.

The full recipe of The Muses consists of:

2 ounces 100 proof Junior Johnson strawberry moonshine

a squeeze of fresh cucumber purée

homemade lemonade

topped off with soda water

garnished with a cucumber slice

It’s named for a parade during Mardi Gras, and inspired by drinking a whole lot of strawberry moonshine during Emily Mendenhall’s first Muses parade.

Do yourself a favor, Dayton. Take 15 minutes to experience heaven on Earth. This is a seasonal spring and summertime drink, so be sure to get it while it is here.

5 networking tips you need to master

Networking is a crucial part of any type of business-to-business relationship and takes many different forms. The most notable is the golf course. I dread this form due to the fact that I am a terrible golfer, but can hold my own. Others consist of happy hours (which are more up my ally), meet-and-greets, as well as a plethora of other activities.

Now something to remember right off the bat is that the venue or event does not matter: it’s all about what you say and how you react. People get so focused on where they are going to be or what they are going to do rather than focusing on what’s important.

Here, I share five tips that will help you become a networking master at any event — even on the golf course.

1.) Two ears, one mouth: listen twice as much as you talk

It is very hard not to own a conversation and talk about yourself constantly. You do not want to be labeled as “THAT PERSON” at a networking event. Instead, let that person do the talking. This helps on a couple different levels. You are seen as a person who listens, is not overpowering, and is approachable, as well as you gather information about the person you are connecting with. Store that info and use it at a different event. “Hey Pam, great to see you again. How are the kids? Did Kendra make the debate team?” This also helps strengthen the relationship further down the line.

2.) Lost? Ask questions

Have you ever been backed into a networking corner and have NOTHING to talk about? We all have. A trick I use is to ask questions. It is simple, easy, and can be applied to any situation. Ask about their position, what they do for fun, what the best part of their job is, etc. This helps you to try and find some common ground to chat about, as well as gives you a chance to think about what you should chat about next. Also, it helps reinforce Tip #1.

3.) DON’T TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER!!!

Weather is a universal networking conversational crutch. When it is brought up, it is the proverbial slap to the face when talking with someone. If a person starts talking about the weather to me, I take it as their way of not wanting to not have a genuine conversation about trying to connect with me and need an out from the convo. When I hear weather come up, I wrap it up in the next 2-3 sentences.

4.) When you burn bridges, you burn opportunities

People say not to burn bridges, because you never know what the future holds. Granted, it is hard to take the high road when you know you are right, but it is something we all need to practice. Hell, I know I do not take that high road all the time, but it is something I try to work on more personally. Next time you are in a situation like that, simply take a breather, count to ten, and end on a high note.

5.) It’s not WHAT you know, it’s WHO you know

I currently work at a financial firm, and I do not have a financial background. I was given the opportunity to work here because 10 years ago C.H. Dean needed a few extra people to help with some filing. From filing, I started to help with a systems conversation, from there I began doing administrative work and started to learn the business more and more. This led me to where I am today. I had that opportunity because I knew the person who did the hiring for interns. People can teach you what you need to know on the job, but getting your foot in the door is the hardest part — which is where networking comes into play.

3 easy ways to get involved in Dayton

“I want to get involved. How can I get involved more?” I think I hear this phrase once a week from people all over. Some are new to the area and some are seasoned veterans of the Dayton region.

Below, you’ll find three ways to help you get more involved and learn more about Dayton.

1.) Define Your Passion

It is easy to say “I want to do something,” and start running around to different organizations trying to fill that void. One crucial step that many people neglect to do is define what gives them that spark, that passion to do something. It is not much fun to be doing something that you don’t care about at all. That’s like going to a pet shelter and taking care of puppies when what you really wanted to do was work at a food pantry.

PRO-TIP:  Make a list of the top 4 things that you love to do in your life. This will help point you in the direction of an organization that has similar passion.

2.) Get Out & Get Social

Some of the best organizations I got involved with were from my involvement with a different group or organization.  Dayton is big enough for there to be some great overlap in certain areas, you just need to have a starting point to help springboard you into them. Below are a list of a few things that you can do that have many highly-involved Daytonians within them.

Dayton Sportcial (Pronounced “Spore-Shull”) – Dayton Sportcial’s goal is easy: Have fun playing the games that we grew up loving. Their focus is to set up well-organized sports leagues, tournaments, and events while teaming up with local businesses for drink specials, food, and creative programming.

UpDayton – UpDayton inspires and empowers young professionals to create the Dayton, Ohio they want – a thriving place to live, work, and play. UpDayton seeks to spur economic growth in the Dayton region by attracting and retaining young creative talent. UpDayton wants to show young adults that the Gem City is a great place to live, work and play. And if top-notch creative young professionals want to live in our community, then top-notch entrepreneurs, businesses and investors want to be here, too!

Generation Dayton – Generation Dayton’s purpose is to engage, inspire, retain, and attract talented young professionals in the Dayton region by providing opportunities to connect with peers, develop professional skills, build relationships with business and community leaders, voice opinions and concerns to decision-makers, volunteer to improve the surrounding community, and have a positive impact on others and the Dayton region.

3 – Watering Holes are Gold Mines

One of my favorite things to do is grab a seat at a bar and strike up a convo with whoever sits down. Now, you have to be mindful of your surroundings in the sense of whether or not the person wants to be left alone or maybe they are just wanting to talk with their friends. I have had some amazing conversations with folks who share one of my favorite pastimes. I have met city employees, small and large business owners, and people just like me looking to chat for a bit. If you are not shy and able to initiate a few words, this is a great way to see what else is out there, or at least pass the time over a beer or two.

Some of my favorite spots:

• Warped Wing
• Lucky’s
• Toxic

11 pictures of the Dayton Arcade adventure you need to see

The Dayton Arcade has been a topic hitting Dayton newsstands for the past couple months. With UD announcing a future move to the Dayton Arcade, it seems like the project has been injected with a much-needed Z-pack and ready to kick this multi-decade flu of being vacant and forgotten to the curb.

On May 3, many of my Leadership Dayton (Class of 2016 – The Best Class) classmates and I braved...

Continue reading the whole story HERE

I've Got Sticker Shock From Dayton Voting

When I was a kid, I remember sitting in the front seat of my dad’s Oldsmobile Tornado. The cloth seats worn out from years of use, the classic brown and burgundy color tones throughout the dash, and the crisp smell of pure American throughout the cabin.

Election Day was always fun for me as a kid because my dad would take me to his polling location. I remember being nervous about whether or not I could stand next to him while he voted. I always did because I was a rebel. He would talk about what he was doing and why voting was important. Then at the end, we would leave and he would receive the holy grail for all American Voters: the coveted “Voting Sticker.”

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